Category: Ponderous Poetry

All the Heaven and Hell by Christina Knowles

Lightly falling snowflakesFlowers in Hair

The loving eyes of my old dog

The smile of a baby

Red and gold leaves scattered on the ground

Glistening wet petals in the morning sun

This is all the heaven I will ever know

Holding the hand of my mother as she leaves me

Burning tears of loss, the indescribable pain in my chest

Holding my best friend as she takes her last breath

Angry words from a trusted mouth

Grave news from a doctor’s chart

This is all the hell I will ever know

The soft glow of a crackling fire

Holding hands with the best man I’ve ever known

The swell of love his gaze makes me feel

The time spent with my closest friends

Laughing until my stomach hurts

This is all the heaven I will ever know

The anxiety of deadlines

The crushing weight of responsibilities

Debts to pay and artificial worries

The helplessness of age

The loneliness of loss

This is all the hell I will ever know

Pain and depression

Joy and the sweetness of love

Anger and frustration

Comfort and peace

Gratitude for all of this life

This is all the heaven and hell I will ever know—Christina Knowles (2015)

Photo snagged from Pinterest

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“Country” by Christina Knowles

stones on riverCascading watercolor gravel

Winds and descends

‘round shady bends

Decaying pastel stones

Trip precariously over hills

The breeze

kisses the scented pines

Whispering clouds

Tell secrets

As the wind awakens

Russet leaves

Swoop and swirl in a mock tornado

While the maddening

Ticking

Of the insect population

Fades to silence

A dazzling autumn

Day in the country

Peaceful

and

Chaotic

–Christina Knowles

Photo snagged from wallpaperstock.net

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Breathe

mediateJust breathe

Sinking deeper, I turn inward

Searching for me

Just rest here awhile

Letting the thoughts drift

Along the outer edges of my mind

Immersed in my inner sanctuary

I don’t need anything

Safe and alone

Peace settles over me like a soft blanket

Drift

Just breathe

The air filling my lungs

Satisfies me

I am content with nothing more than breath

Assuaged and serene

I rest

No expectations

With every exhalation

Taking me down

Further into me

A soft breeze kisses my skin

The wings of a bird flutter overhead

In a nearby tree

These images drift slowly in my mind

Before dissipating like fog in the sun

Just breathe

–Christina Knowles (2015)

Photo snagged from lifescapesolutions.com

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Art by Christina Knowles

PALETTE KNIFE Oil Painting On Canvas By Leonid Afremov
PALETTE KNIFE Oil Painting On Canvas By Leonid Afremov

A canvas

Colors vividly swirl

A painted sky

Cloud-swept and clean

A sharp and jagged mountain

Cut with a palette knife

The paint tells a story of its own

Not realistic but real

More real than nature

The truth underneath

Revealing

What the soul sees

What the heart knows

Life uncovered

Art shows the true story

A story so important

Not everyone can understand it

The unfortunate go blindly

Through mountains and meadows

By seascapes and down winding paths

Looking but never seeing

While the artist strips away the veil

And brightens the picture

Revealing what was there all along

Hidden from the ordinary

Knowing there is no such thing

The extraordinary is all around us

Hiding, pretending to be banal, bourgeois

Until the artist brushes truth

On a canvas.

–Christina Knowles (2009)

Image: PALETTE KNIFE Oil Painting On Canvas By Leonid Afremov

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Transformed by Christina Knowles

Sun peaking through cloudsSleeping through the everyday

Unconsciously conformed

Never noticing my malaise

When brewing there a storm

Dark skies block the rays

Clouds twist and deform

It’s hard to find my way

Asleep, but in the form

Pain penetrates the gray

In loss I am reformed

In presence I appraise

The life I’ve lived and ways

Ways, my anguish informs

And in the balance weighs

Surviving pain transforms

Illuminated, consciously ablaze

Awake and knowing I will mourn

But joy I hold in yesterday

And love today is warm

—Christina Knowles (2015)

Photo snagged from shutterstock.com

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The Stone by Christina Knowles

Dark-Forest-19On a hillside hidden

Among the knotty pine

Lies a weathered stone of red

Sharp edges softened over time

Still the weight of it remains

Its sturdy strength sublime

A signpost to find your way

A monument, a shrine

Its presence is a constant

When confused among the pine

Kindly it waits to comfort

And listen for a time

To any who lose their way

To rest and realign

It suffered every storm

And every passerby

Patiently awaiting

The elements to redefine

Its next stage of existence

Smoothed and refined

And finally dissolve it home again

Sinking ever to recline

—Christina Knowles (2015)

Photo snagged from theartmad.com

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“Transcend” by Christina Knowles

mother and baby elephantDid you ever wonder

About the trees, the flowers, and the seas?

Not just to use and plunder

Thinking we are so much more than these?

Did you ever wander

Through the forest of many creatures rife?

Did you stop to ponder

In the night, what animal builds his life?

Did you ever ponder

The living, the breathing of everything around,

The flutter of feathered wings, the sacred honor

Of crunching leaves of scarlet scattered on the ground?

Do you ever wonder

What the sleeping dog dreams?

Is he chasing squirrels in a field over yonder?

Or romping through crystal clear streams?

Does the elephant love her child

Stolen from her care?

Chained and defiled

She mourns her loss with a tear.

Did you ever wonder

Why humans feel superior?

Stripping lands and torturing under

The belief that all else is inferior.

Do you feel the need to plunder?

Destroying forests to supply

The cities of man; we tear asunder,

Building skyscrapers to pierce the sky?

Do we worship the ability to destroy?

We speak of intelligence;

It’s just a clever ploy

To justify our negligence and squander Earth’s inheritance.

Why do we build a pedestal, and climb into the seat,

Claiming we have a soul, and other beasts do not?

Privy to the secrets of an afterlife replete

In rewards for destruction with their blood we bought?

Do we ever wonder

Why we’re comfortable with our thoughts

Of eternal days unnumbered

While they turn to dust in their plots?

Did we ever consider

We are one and the same?

Energy reconfigured

Just another creature’s frame?

Born of the earth,

Siblings of the land

With no separate worth;

No destiny is planned.

Did you ever wonder

If it’s time to transcend?

Wake up from this slumber

And begin to comprehend?

We are all a part of another

So end the devastation, and instead defend

Those at our hands who suffer

And begin to make amends.

—Christina Knowles (2015)

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The Edge by Christina Knowles

“The Edge”

woman-on-cliffs-edge

Linear lives stumble past

each other

in blind obedience

to an unknown god—

money, possessions,

success.

Occasionally we meet—

our eyes, our bodies.

Rarely ourselves.

But today I am with you

and your delicate flesh gives way to my touch.

Entangling limbs,

need fuses us together.

Sweat drips like tears down our bodies,

cleansing our souls,

washing away rivers of indifference,

momentarily.

I am connected to you in this instant.

We seem to be one, our souls speaking a secret language.

Occasionally we meet—

our eyes, our flesh.

Sometimes ourselves.

Waves of sensation subside with the tide.

Relief flows evenly across our bodies like summer wind.

I emerge less than whole, transformed;

already retreating into my separate self.

Our bodies touch,

but there are miles between us.

Your heavy weight presses me down

smothering my humanity,

turning me into another

in an endless procession of animal-like

bodies, soulless.

Occasionally we meet—

our eyes, our flesh.

Why not ourselves?

We are separate

until

we once again find that common ground

with each other

or someone else.

This newly born awareness grows

while emotion fades

away—like an old man breathing his last.

Lingering

on the edge of bliss,

on the edge of emptiness

Until that day when we finally meet

Ourselves

–Christina Knowles (1998)

Photo snagged from transparentwithmyself.wordpress.com

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“Lucky” by Christina Knowles

LuckyEverything leads to tragedy

It seems to compound

But in the in-between

I am lucky

Fate smiles smugly

While I frown

But in the darkness, I am found

I am lucky

A little fussy

But I am bound

To this life

I am lucky

Heartfelt and enigmatic

I am rife

With friends all around me

I am lucky

In tenderness abounding

I swim through the sorrow

Willingly pursuing tomorrow

I am lucky

The knell has sounded

To set me free

But I ignore it, naturally

With troubles I am hounded

But I am lucky

In the midst of falling leaves

I am surrounded

An abundance of tears deceives

I’m inclined to opine

But still I’m lucky

Flowers lose their petals

The foundation finally settles

But all around me I am grounded

In love, I’m astounded

And I’m so lucky

There’s a chance to amend

Love enough to spend

And I am lucky

Between the calm and the calamity

Lies the beauty

The artistic and the altruistic

Human duty; I’m in for a pound

Yet finally unbound, I am free

To be fairly optimistic

After all

I am so lucky.

–Christina Knowles (2015)

Photo snagged from newartcolorz.com

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“I Know” by Christina Knowles

Holocaust

“I Know”

Please don’t tell me

what I already know

what I don’t believe

anyway

‘cuz I’ve considered the source

So where are these angels

sent to deliver us?

Heard it before, no need to discuss

I know, I know

God’s not a vending machine

But I’m not asking for a Coke.

I’ve heard the clichés

I’m not buying today

Mom’s dying and Dad’s in jail

Sister’s going to foster care

and I’m going to hell

I know, I know

His ways are not ours

How could we expect them to make sense?

He never gave you a mind ‘cuz you was supposed

To think

Shut it up tight, and believe with all your might

One might think He really doesn’t want you to believe

Don’t listen to reason; it’s just there to deceive

I know, I know

He’s our invisible friend

in the sky

We need to have faith

Faith like a child

Because only a child could believe it

Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny’s

Our path to perceive it

I know, I know

God is good no matter what He does

He always gets a pass

Find a parking space—Praise God

No answer to prayer; He’s just telling you to wait

I lose my job; He has a plan

No worries; it’s better than Crack

Hardly any withdrawal when you come off this Smack

I know, I know

He works in mysterious ways

And it’s not His fault, 10,000 die in an earthquake

or six million Jews at the hand of His creation

We just live in a broken world

because some chick had no willpower

Of course, who are we to question that logic?

If you do, He may well devour

you in that last hour.

I know, I know

It’ll be okay, some day, some day

In eternity

The imaginary place where God makes up for all the shit

He did to you in this life

Your only life

Don’t hold your breath

Go ahead and breathe while you can

There aint gonna be no TV angels

Coming to touch your miserable life

Maybe, if you’re lucky,

He’ll just ask you to sacrifice your child

To prove your loyalty

I know, I know

At the last minute He yells, “Psych!”

All in good fun

After all, He murdered His son

See what a good father does?

He’ll cure your cancer—don’t call it remission

Even though it will probably come back

But don’t ask Him to grow back limbs

‘Cuz He’s a union fan

Do you really want to spend eternity

with this man?

That’s blasphemy

I know

A travesty because we only exist to glorify this

That’s morality?

I don’t think so.

I know what I know.

–Christina Knowles (2009)

Photo: Snagged from http://www.yadvashem.org/yv/en/holocaust/about/03/daily_life_gallery.asp

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