Category: Pondering the Universe

I love philosophy and thinking in general. This blog is to express my thoughts, opinions, or to ask questions for which I may never have an answer.

The Definition of Dignity by Christina Knowles

Snagged from deviant art.com
Snagged from deviant art.com

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the definition of dignity is “the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect.”

Death has been on my mind lately. We see it every day in the news, pandemics, violence, cancer, but mainly it’s been at the forefront of my mind recently because my mother is dying. She is less than a month away from being 83 years old, so it is not surprising that she suffers from a variety of maladies due to age. I lost my father about a year and a half ago, and honestly, most of us (my brothers and sisters) did not expect her to live much longer after she lost him. They were together 61 years, and she took it pretty hard. He was the love of her life.

My mother is a strong believer in God and follower of the Christian faith, so she fully expects to be reunited with my father in heaven when she dies. I’m not so sure I share this belief, but I’m glad she has it. I do believe, however, that each person’s death is extremely important, and can be one of the most beautiful things we ever experience in our lives.

First let me preface this with a clarification of the kind of death to which I refer. I’m talking about the kind of death that is expected, somewhat drawn out, and is actually positively anticipated. Tragedies that steal lives long before their time suddenly with no preparation, no chance for goodbyes; those are terribly catastrophic, or deaths which come far too soon in a life yet unlived, those who should have had many more years to come. I would also like to clarify that I am not suggesting that people should needlessly suffer. But for those people who know their deaths are imminent, are able to put their affairs in order, say goodbye to loved ones, and whose pain is managed, the knowing, and even the experience, can be a gift.

Of course, I can only imagine since I have never been diagnosed with a terminal illness, but I have witnessed death first-hand and found it beautiful and profound for both the dying and those who were present in the end. I had the privilege of helping my husband care for his dying mother in her last days, and it was indeed a privilege. We often hear stories of people who want to avoid prolonged death, who say they do not want to be a burden, endure the humiliation of being incapable of doing even the simplest things for themselves, or do not want to put their relatives through that kind of pain. I can understand fear, fear of pain, fear of the unknown, fear of what the afterlife, if there is one, holds, but facing these fears could be the most important thing we’ve ever done. However, I do not understand the common fears regarding the humiliation and the burdening of loved ones. It’s simply not true from my perspective.

From what I have witnessed, knowing those who’ve died with loved ones nearby and from those who’ve cared for them, these fears are unwarranted. A dying loved one is not a burden, not in the slightest. It is hard, it is exhausting, it is painful, but it is also wonderful. Being present to hear those last words of wisdom or just words of love and to impart them yourself is precious beyond words. Caring for someone you love in the most intimate of ways, doing everything for them that they cannot do themselves is beautiful beyond comparison. There is nothing humiliating about it for the person receiving or for the person giving. Never in my life have I been so close to my mother as when I bathed her, never have I been so close to my father as when I spoon-fed him his dinner, never have I felt so much love flowing from me to another person through a simple act. The smile on the face of my mother as I bathed her, the smile on the face of my father as I fed him, tell me they felt the same. I wouldn’t trade these experiences for the world.

wordsrhymesandrhythm.files.wordpress
wordsrhymesandrhythm.files.wordpress

And then there are the words. For days before my father died, my whole family sat by his side, hanging on his every word, knowing whatever he said in those moments, knowing he could go at any moment, would likely be the most important things he would ever say. He spoke to each of us individually, saying what he loved about us, calling us by our special names. We asked him questions, things we knew we’d never have another chance to ask. Moments of incoherence happened, yes, but those about to die have surprising moments of clarity as well. I am honored to have been there for his last days.

My mother has had many close calls, so we are always hesitant to start the process of acceptance. Right now she has congestive heart failure; her heart rate drops to 20 and goes back up. She is refusing any care except comfort measures. She is ready to go be with her love. Knowing it can be any time is a gift. We don’t waste a moment. Sitting by her side, I ask her to tell me the stories of her childhood, to clarify things for me so I can have an accurate memory of her life. She enjoys this as well, recounting a life well-lived. Mostly I get to hold her hand and talk about how much I love her and how she has always been the best mother anyone could have.

I think death can even be this way for younger people with terminal illness although it is infinitely more unfair and tragic. I also know what it’s like to lose someone long before they should go, and what it’s like to be left behind. I know what it feels like to grieve so long it seems you’ll never stop. But knowing when, or approximately when we will die, makes us zero in on what’s important; it magnifies every moment, it makes every word precious and every touch significant.

Brittany Maynard, recently in the news for choosing a date to end her life to avoid a long drawn out and painful death in hospice care, says she would rather “die with dignity.” Although I support her right to make the choice and understand wanting to avoid the worst, I think it is a mistake. There is nothing undignified about dying surrounded by loved ones in hospice care. Her loved ones don’t care about her “singed off hair” and they would be able to keep her comfortable. However, I do believe it is her choice.

This may sound strange coming from someone who isn’t even sure if there is an afterlife, but I know if there is a heaven, my mother is surely going there, and if there isn’t, she’ll never know, so she won’t be disappointed. As for me, I don’t hold out hope to see my loved ones again after this life, which is all the more reason why I cherish every moment with them and treasure the privilege of helping to care for them; witnessing the so-called undignified—it couldn’t be further from the truth. And hopefully when I am very old and my death is just around the bend, I will remember that the very fact that there is someone willing to care for me through till the end is the very definition of dignity, and I will participate in every profound moment of my dying experience without guilt or reservation.—Christina Knowles

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The Dog That Taught Me How to Live Again by Christina Knowles

Mulder flowersEveryone knows I’m a dog lover, but not many know that I owe a big part of who I am to one special dog. I’ve tried putting these feelings into words so many times and have given up every time, but it is long overdue, so here goes. Mulder Pitman-Knowles passed away in May of 2008 at the age of fifteen, and broke my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible. I put off writing this memoir to honor her because I was afraid, afraid to feel the emotions again, the grief, the gut-wrenching loss. You may, but I hope you don’t, think that that is an over-dramatic reaction to the death of a pet, but Mulder was not a pet. She was my friend, and I loved her as much as any other friend I’ve ever had. I know some people won’t understand what she was to me, but those of you who have had the privilege of loving and being loved by at least one extraordinary animal, will know what I mean.

You see, Mulder unexpectedly changed my life. She saved me, really.Mulder window

I adopted Mulder in 1994 from the Humane Society, or rather, she adopted me. The week before, I took my kids there to look at the animals, and we saw an adorable little male beagle. He was sweet and friendly, but he was a stray, not owner-surrendered, so I had to put my name on a list and wait five days to see if the owner came for him. When I called to check five days later, they said I could come and pick him up. I was so excited and had already picked out his name, Mulder, after the main character on my favorite TV show, The X-Files. In nervous anticipation, I followed as a staff member led me in to the dog holding area, but she couldn’t find the male beagle. She told me that the one I wanted must have mistakenly been given to someone else. I was terribly disappointed, but just then I saw the most beautiful beagle I had ever seen. The staff member told me she was a female who had been owner-surrendered because she was “un-trainable” and hated cats. The cat part turned out to be true. I didn’t care what her previous family said; I knew this was supposed to be my Mulder. She immediately came to me and laid her head on my bent knee and gazed at me with her huge soulful eyes. It was like we connected instantly. There was an intelligence and wisdom in those eyes, and I knew she was meant for me.

Scan 36I was a little anxious when I took her home because my ex-husband (current at the time) did not want a dog in the house. We had a golden retriever, Clancy, that he wanted basically for hunting, but he insisted that the dog be kept in a small dog run because Clancy had a thing for digging holes. It broke my heart, and every day I would let him out all day until my ex came home from work, but then one day, a man I hired to paint the house fell in love with Clancy. Every time this painter took a break, he would chase Clancy, then roll in the grass, wrestling him. This went on for a week, and on the last day, I asked the man if he wanted to take Clancy for his own. He had ten acres in the forest, and he was thrilled at the offer. He promised to never lock him up. I cried my eyes out as I said goodbye to my golden retriever that day, but I knew I did the right thing. I couldn’t live long without a dog, and I never wanted to put another dog through what Clancy experienced, so I talked my ex into letting me get a small dog that we could keep in the house. My ex agreed to let Mulder live in the house as long she didn’t do anything wrong-ever; however, he insisted on locking her in a kennel at night or whenever we left the house.

I don’t know why her previous family thought she was un-trainable because Mulder was house-trained within a week; she learned to sit, lie down, and stay in the first week as well. Right away she was “my” dog. She followed me everywhere. We ran three miles every morning, rain or shine; she did whatever I said, but listened to others only when she wanted to. She curled up on my lap every evening, and she knew exactly what she could do when my ex wasn’t around. When he wasn’t home, which was most of the time, she could sleep on the furniture or the bed, and she had free run of the house. As soon as she heard the door open in the evening, and he walked in, she would jump off the couch and take her place on her pillow. He never knew because she was so good. She never chewed up anything that wasn’t hers. She wouldn’t even touch a toy until I told her it was hers to play with.Scan 34

During those years, Mulder was my solace. My ex-husband was manipulative, controlling, angry, and intolerant. Nothing I did was correct, but Mulder thought everything I did was right. She accepted me with no make-up on, wearing old sweatpants, and she was okay with whatever I wanted to do—going for a run, snuggling on the couch while I read, sitting on my lap watching TV. She was good with my kids too. I remember one year my daughter wanted to make a calendar of Mulder pictures. She dressed Mulder up in a different costume for every season and took pictures of her. Mulder was not happy, but she didn’t complain once.

Scan 37 Scan 37 Scan 38

In 2004 I left my ex-husband and filed for divorce. By this time, I was pretty beat down from seventeen years of being screamed at, seventeen years of being told to change who I was, seventeen years of being controlled like a child, used, humiliated, and devalued. I was tired of walking on eggshells just to make sure he didn’t get upset. He was okay with the kids. I was always the target of his anger.  I told him I wanted fifty-fifty custody of the children because I knew he would never give me full custody without a fight, and I couldn’t afford a lawyer. I told him he could have virtually everything we owned if I could just have Mulder. I was so afraid that he would try to keep full custody of the kids or take Mulder away from me just to get back at me. He didn’t want the divorce, but he agreed.Scan 35

I bought a townhouse with a little yard for Mulder, and we moved in before I even bought any furniture. The custody agreement ended up being one week on, one week off, so every other week, it was just Mulder and I. Mulder was never locked in a kennel again, but had free rein throughout the house and was allowed on all the furniture. It was then, these times alone with Mulder, that she made me realize what kind of life I wanted, the person I wanted to be, and how to live and love the way we are meant to. She loved me unconditionally, she never expected me to be anything other than what I was, she listened to me quietly, she comforted me when I cried, she never judged me, she never screamed at me, or told me to change. She showed me how peaceful and calm a home could be, how to look forward to coming home, how to love without selfish expectations, how to accept people exactly as they are. She healed me and made me strong. She looked up to me and found me worthy. She made me realize I never had to settle for less than unreserved love and acceptance ever again.

When I met my soul-mate, Randy, Mulder’s approval was paramount. Mulder loved Randy instantly, and Randy loved her. Mulder accepted Randy into our home with surprising ease. Because of this, I knew he must be a good person. Randy and I lived there with Mulder for two years, blissfully happy. I remember when Randy first moved in after we married, he asked if he should put up his slippers, so Mulder wouldn’t chew them up. I was so insulted that he would assume she would do that! I told him Mulder never chewed up anything that wasn’t her own personal property.Scan 40

She did get into mischief once in a while though. She was an avid rabbit hunter, and she was fast. More than once, I found her eating her kill, much to my dismay. She also learned how to open the cupboard where we kept her treats. One time she pulled them out and dumped them on the kitchen floor and ate her fill. I came home to the remnants of broken treats on the floor. And Mulder loved Christmas, particularly the stockings. She got excited when we hung them and even knew which one was hers. I’m not making this up. Ask my husband. She would be so excited on Christmas morning when her stocking was full. She’d go straight to it and jump at it. But one year, a week before Christmas, while we were gone, Mulder found her bag of treats and toys in the closet, the ones that were to go in her stocking. She obviously knew they were meant for her because they were dog treats and toys. Anyway, she dragged the whole bag out of the closet and halfway down the stairs when, apparently, guilt overwhelmed her, and she abandoned the entire bag on the stairs and hid in the bedroom. We came home, found the bag on the stairs, contents spilling out, but no Mulder to be seen. I called and called her, and finally she slowly emerged, head hung low, and tail down, completely ashamed of herself. Of course, I just thought it was adorable and wasn’t upset at all, but she so wanted to please me and couldn’t stand disappointing me. She just couldn’t contain her Christmas anticipation. I’m the same way. That is one of my fondest memories of her.Scan 39Scan 41

It was because of Mulder that I was ready for someone like Randy in my life, someone kind, easygoing, loving, and honest. So many times I’ve seen people enter into the same type of relationships over and over because they haven’t worked out their issues or figured out what they want, what they need. Mulder taught me I was enough. If I was to let someone into my life, it would be only because they added something, but that I was just fine by myself, and I knew when I fell in love with Randy that, just like with Mulder, I never had to be anyone but me ever again. I would be loved and accepted just the way I was, and I could be that way for someone else in return. There never had to be any yelling, name-calling, any manipulation. No lies and attempts to control, only complete honesty and respect. Mulder showed me I deserved that and how wonderful and peaceful life could be. She taught me how to live again.

That sounds like a lot to learn from a dog, but then Mulder wasn’t just any dog. She was my friend, she loved me, and I loved her. I had loved her before, a lot, but after I left my ex and moved out on my own, we bonded so extensively, probably because of the trauma I had been through, and because she was the only one there for me. I’m glad she was the one there for me. I miss her all the time. I will be forever grateful to her, and I will cherish her memory in my heart always. I love you, Mulder, and thank you.—Christina Knowles Mulderold

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Necessary for Survival by Christina Knowles

The-Walking-Dead-Season-4

In anticipation of the return of The Walking Dead series on AMC this October, I decided to make my “Necessary for Survival” list, not really for a zombie apocalypse, but just to survive the banality of everyday existence. Keeping in mind Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, I decided to put basic needs first, and then move on to higher-self needs.

  1. Food and water
  2. Shelter, including an atmosphere free from danger in which to sleep
  3. Clothing
  4. Method of cleanliness/hygiene
  5. A means of protecting oneself from predators
  6. A method with which to obtain goods and services
  7. Peace
  8. Love/Social interaction
  9. Honesty
  10. Goodness
  11. Intellectual stimulation
  12. Meaningful and creative work
  13. Occasional distracting escapes
  14. Purpose (I mean on a deeper level than #12)
  15. Art (Poetry, Books, Music, Visual Arts, Film)
  16. Universal Truth

Numbers 6 and 16 are the only ones that give me any trouble. Number 6 is an unfortunate by-product of needing 1-5, 13, and 15. I am lucky enough to be gainfully employed, and it is meaningful and creative work, but it does not allow much time for numbers 8, 13, or enough of 15. Number 16 is always elusive.

Again I am reminded of The Walking Dead. I believe this show’s popularity owes its success to more than a great concept and good solid writing and characterization. The show represents our unconscious desire to abandon all but the basic necessities of life—that which is “Necessary for Survival.” Paring things down to the bare bones of living, returning to simplicity is the appeal of the show, I believe, for many people. WalkingDead

How many of us long to quit the daily, mind-numbing servitude to someone else’s dreams? To forget the house payments and credit card bills, forget that remodeling project, dump the textbooks in the trash, never ride another subway again? And I’m not even going to mention the freedom to embrace our own vision of justice as if we lived in the Old West, to handle matters as we see fit without the pesky interference of law enforcement or government agencies. We long to rid ourselves of the stress of modern convenience to which we have become enslaved.

But we are just too practical and too scared to do it. So we fantasize about a world that requires us to do it, where we have nothing to lose, no decision over which to agonize. It’s been forced upon us, but we imagine we are up to the challenge, not grown fat and lazy through civilization. We imagine that we can hold on to our humanity without the stress and complexities of civilization, so we root for those characters on The Walking Dead who refuse to completely lose their compassion, their civility, even while being free to be barbaric. It is today’s Walden. After all, we are not some hippie Transcendentalists. We want to be in control of our own lives, free to live how we want, not answer to anyone, get back to the simple things, but we are too ADHD to retire to a cabin in the woods, unless of course, there are zombies beating on the door. Maybe I should have added conflict to my “Necessary for Survival” list.—Christina Knowles

Images from ‪insidetv.ew.com

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The Problem with Truth by Christina Knowles

Snagged from Google Images
Snagged from Google Images

What is truth? “That which is in accordance with fact or reality” (free dictionary.com). The problem with truth is that, just like reality, we don’t really know that we know it. We experience truth just as we do any other experience in life. Experientially. When we know a thing through our sensory input, and it is not contradicted by another one of our senses, we consider it to be true. However, scientists and doctors know that there are conditions, which can cause the senses to completely misinterpret or mistake a thing we are sure we know from experience. For example, certain nerve conditions cause a person to feel pain at a soft touch, or heat when there is none.

Whenever I broach this subject, I always think of Aristotle’s Metaphysics. Aristotelian philosophy on the true nature of a thing is based on a few principles, and this is only a very simplified version of his massive theory: There is the Law of Non-Contradiction, which means that a thing cannot ‘be’ and ‘not be’ at the same time. That makes sense to me. He also posited that there are three types of things: “changeable and perishable,” “changeable and eternal,” and “immutable” (Metaphysics IV, 3-6). But even if we accept that, what about the fact that two people can experience the same event or stimuli and interpret it differently? Obviously, this is due to a number of factors, including but not limited to, the background, previous experiences, mental capacity, personality, beliefs, and possibly even genetics of the people interpreting the information. How then, can anyone know truth if it must be filtered through these varying and uncontrolled factors?

This is the problem with truth. We think we can know truth, but we cannot. Therefore, the meaning of truth becomes that which we think corresponds to reality, as we understand it. —Christina Knowles

Sources

  • Aristotle’s Metaphysics. Trans. Joe Sachs. 2nd ed. Santa Fe, N.M.: Green Lion, 2002.
  • “Truth.” Free Dictionary by Farlex. http://www.freedictionary.com/truth. Accessed: September 12, 2014.
1

Existdentalism: I Think; Therefore, I Am Confused by Christina Knowles

Rodin, The Thinker Snagged from Google Images
Rodin, The Thinker Snagged from Google Images

In seeking to define my worldview, I have found myself consistently drawn to seemingly oppositional philosophical viewpoints: Existentialism and Transcendentalism. At least they seem juxtaposed in most ways. My definition of Existentialism is the belief that life has no intrinsic meaning; we create the meaning in our own lives. There is no divine. Transcendentalism, on the other hand, is believing the divine is all around us and in us. We are in nature and nature is in us, and through communion with nature, we connect with the divine soul and are one with everything. This connection is the meaning of life.

Why do I bother defining my worldview? Why do I feel the need to label it? I’ve asked myself this question a thousand times. I believe it is because in order to live consciously, deliberately, and according to a personal value standard, which I desire to do, I need to make choices all the time that fall within certain parameters, and to be vigilant in that, they must be defined. Life is short, and to live it fully aware, one cannot blindly stumble through it.

I read extensively and eclectically, and in my reading, I come across wisdom that speaks to me what I recognize as truth. But is that which seems true, truth? Ah, the age old question asked by every ancient philosopher, and Pilate asked this to Jesus, and at some point, every thinking person must ask themselves, “What is truth?” In forming our worldviews, I find that we latch on to bits of wisdom that seem true because we recognize their wisdom according to our already established values, in which we have internalized throughout our lives from various experiences, both internally and externally. I believe we are even born with some of these values.

I have found many things that seem true in Existentialism. I love Existentialism. People say it is pessimistic and depressing. I don’t see it that way at all. I think it is liberating and comforting. Here are some of my favorite Existential aphorisms:

“I saw that my life was a vast glowing empty page and I could do anything I wanted.”—Jack Kerouac

“All that remains is a fate whose outcome alone is fatal. Outside of that single fatality of death, everything, joy or happiness, is liberty. A world remains of which man is the sole master. What bound him was the illusion of another world.” –Albert Camus

“Life begins on the other side of despair.”—Jean-Paul Sarte

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” —Jean-Paul Sarte

“It’s only after you’ve lost everything, that you’re free to do anything.”—Tyler Durden

“Every true faith is infallible. It performs what the believing person hopes to find in it. But it does not offer the least support for the establishing of an objective truth. Here the ways of men divide. If you want to achieve peace of mind and happiness, have faith. If you want to be a disciple of truth, then search.”—Friedrich Nietzsche

“Memento mori—remember death! These are important words. If we kept in mind that we will soon inevitably die, our lives would be completely different. If a person knows that he will die in a half hour, he certainly will not bother doing trivial, stupid, or, especially, bad things during this half hour. Perhaps you have half a century before you die—what makes this any different from a half hour?”—Leo Tolstoy

“We fear death, we shudder at life’s instability, we grieve to see the flowers wilt again and again, and the leaves fall, and in our hearts we know that we, too, are transitory and will soon disappear. When artists create pictures and thinkers search for laws and formulate thoughts, it is in order to salvage something from the great dance of death, to make something last longer than we do.”—Hermann Hesse

“As if the blind rage had washed me clean, rid me of hope; for the first time, in that night alive with signs and stars, I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world.”—Albert Camus

When I read Existentialist philosophy, I want it to be true. I think it is beautiful and carefree. Unfortunately, I don’t quite buy it.

So I turn to Transcendentalism. After all, I have practiced yoga all my life. Some of my favorite works of literature are Transcendentalist works, and although I see them as contradicting Existentialist views, I see them also as containing profound truths, and one cannot help but be inspired by the idealism. Here are some of my favorite Transcendental pearls:

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he had imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”—Henry David Thoreau

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.”—Henry David Thoreau

“Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.”—Henry David Thoreau

“So behave that the odor of your actions may enhance the general sweetness of the atmosphere, that when we behold or scent a flower, we may not be reminded how inconsistent your deeds are with it; for all odor is but one form of advertisement of a moral quality, and if fair actions had not been performed, the lily would not smell sweet. The foul slime stands for the sloth and vice of man, the decay of humanity; the fragrant flower that springs from it, for the purity and courage which are immortal.”—Henry David Thoreau

“Wherever a man goes, men will pursue him and paw him with their dirty institutions, and, if they can, constrain him to belong to their desperate oddfellow society.”—Henry David Thoreau

“Many go fishing all their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.”—Henry David Thoreau

“Simplicity is the glory of expression.”–Walt Whitman

“Be curious, not judgmental.”—Walt Whitman

“Re-examine all that you have been told… dismiss that which insults your soul.”—Walt Whitman

“I cannot be awake for nothing looks to me as it did before, Or else I am awake for the first time, and all before has been a mean sleep.”—Walt Whitman

“To me, every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle.”–Walt Whitman

“Stop this day and night with me and you shall possess the origin of all poems.
You shall possess the good of the earth and sun . . . . there are millions of suns left. 
You shall no longer take things at second or third hand . . . . nor look through the eyes of the dead . . . . nor feed on the spectres in books.
You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things from me.
You shall listen to all sides and filter them from yourself.”

“There was never any more inception than there is now,
nor any more youth or age than there is now;
and will never be any more perfection than there is now,
nor any more heaven or hell than there is now.”–“Song of Myself,” Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman

“I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. For most men, it appears to me, are in a strange uncertainty about it, whether it is of the devil or of God, and have somewhat hastily concluded that is the chief end of man here to “glorify God and enjoy him forever.”

“An honest man has hardly need to count more than his ten fingers, or in extreme cases he may add his ten toes, and lump the rest. Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumbnail.”–Walden, Henry David Thoreau

“Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” ―Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Obviously, the commonality in these two modes of thinking is the idea that we are the masters of our own destinies; we are the captains of our ships. The only thing holding us back is ourselves. This is the fundamental appeal of these beliefs for me. I love these beautiful ideas; I revel in the wisdom of these two philosophies. The practical advice they give for surviving in a savage world that seems hopeless, gives me hope–Yet, I don’t really believe any of it for a minute. Something deep inside of me says I am not completely in control, I am not the center of my universe, I am not in charge of today, let alone tomorrow. So, I turn to Modernism, Deism, maybe even some Buddhism. The effort to define life’s truths continues. Perhaps I’ll start my own philosophical movement to incorporate bits and pieces of all these things, but that sounds a lot like something an Existential-Transcendentalist would do.—Christina Knowles

Sources

2

Is There Hope for the Human Race? by Christina Knowles

Snagged from www.vox.com
Snagged from http://www.vox.com

It has been a depressing week. Refugee children from South America continue to suffer, the Israeli-Hamas conflict is far from over, even though they are experiencing a temporary ceasefire, the Ebola virus is spreading across many African countries, tensions are rising as the radical Sunni threaten the Kurdish region, Robin Williams tragically committed suicide, Lauren Bacall died as well, and protests and riots erupted in Ferguson, Missouri after the unarmed Michael Brown was shot by the police, and then the militarized police force moved on protestors with armored vehicles, assault rifles, and tear gas. And that’s just what I can think of off the top of my head. Like I said, a very depressing week.

Snagged from www.vox.com.
Snagged from http://www.vox.com.

One might wonder if there is even any hope left for the human race. This week I asked myself that question. It would seem, if one were listening to the news, that everything is spiraling out of control, and we are on a fast trip downward toward annihilation. But is everything really getting worse? Or is this just the perception we have from an ever-increasing saturation of instant news coverage via cable news, Twitter, and Facebook? Although I am thankful for social media for its ability to provide a platform for the average person to report what they see, rather than relying on our somewhat (understatement) biased news sources, are we letting our access to hastily reported news prejudice us against our own futures? Perhaps.

Snagged from www.vox.com.
Snagged from http://www.vox.com.

Let’s look at history to get some perspective. According to longevity expert, Sharon Basaraba, “From the 1500s to around the year 1800, life expectancy throughout Europe hovered between the ages of 30 and 40” (Basaraba). Today our life expectancy has more than doubled since that time. Obviously, advances in medical care and hygiene make our world a better, safer place. We have vaccines, regulated hospitals, and most developed countries enjoy clean water. We also see improvements in food and environmental protections. Prior to the 1950s, corporations could dump toxic waste without fear of penalties, poisoning fish and water sources, as well as the surrounding agriculture. Since then food inspection and labeling has advanced, and even twenty years ago, people didn’t take the idea of avoiding GMOs and eating organic seriously, but today it is widely accepted. Okay, but what about all the violence and terrorism in the world?

According to a 2011 Huffington Post article, statistics show violence is down worldwide, despite global conflicts. “The rate of genocide deaths per world population was 1,400 times higher in 1942 than in 2008.

Snagged from marginalrevolution.com
Snagged from marginalrevolution.com

“There were fewer than 20 democracies in 1946. Now there are close to 100. Meanwhile, the number of authoritarian countries has dropped from a high of almost 90 in 1976 to about 25 now. Rape in the United States is down 80 percent since 1973. Lynchings, which used to occur at a rate of 150 a year, have disappeared.

“Discrimination against blacks and gays is down, as is capital punishment, the spanking of children, and child abuse” (Seth Borenstein). But despite the data, most people I know believe violence is at an all-time high. Why? Because we hear about it, see it in graphic detail on the evening news and on our Twitter feed.

And what about civil rights? Although there are human rights violations daily all over the planet, more countries now have civil rights laws than ever before. Minorities and women in our country enjoy much more freedom and less prejudice than in the early 20th century although there is obviously a long way to go. Accommodations for the disabled have come very far. We’re seeing the right to marry for homosexuals granted in more and more states all the time. Working conditions are better thanks to unions and the 40-hour work week, there are no more sweat shops, at least in most developed countries, and there are child labor laws to protect the young. There are fewer injuries on the job and education is more available than 100 years ago, although rising costs of college are beginning to turn the trend back the other way. But weren’t people just happier in the past?

Not necessarily. Some people argue that we are in a recession, and people tend to be less happy in economic down-cycles. However, other research shows that people today are more likely to follow their dreams and opt for an emotionally fulfilling career over money, as long as they are somewhat secure. Perhaps because not many jobs today are secure, there is actually more perceived freedom to follow your dreams. Another reason people may be happier is because they are healthier or because they have more freedom to be themselves. Shana Lebowitz reports that a study in 2013 by The National Institute on Aging found that people are indeed happier than the same people were when they were younger, probably because people tend to get happier as they age. The study also found that people born after the Baby Boomers are happier than the Baby Boomers themselves (Lebowitz). As an English teacher, I read a lot of old books, and people do just seem nicer, more sensitive now, than portrayals of people hundreds of years ago. I have noticed that children seem less respectful; however, children also have gained more freedom and autonomy, which would explain a greater freedom to express themselves, especially in negative ways.

So are we truly spiraling the drain? Or is it just our perception?

I guess I am trying to say that although things seem horrible—and they are sometimes, as bad as it is, we do seem to be learning something. We are progressing even though we don’t hear about that on the evening news. All it takes is a little research to put things into perspective. I know we all expected to be driving hover cars and colonizing the moon, while reading about eradicated disease and something called war in the history books, but change is slow and we can’t see something grow while we are staring at it. So chin up—there is hope for the human race after all.—Christina Knowles

Sources:

Basaraba, Sharon. “Longevity Throughout History: How has human life expectancy changed over time?” April 21, 2013. Available: http://longevity.about.com/od/longevitystatsandnumbers/a/Longevity-Throughout-History.htm Accessed: August 15, 2014.

Borenstein, Seth. Huffington Post. “World Becoming Less Violent: Despite Global Conflict, Statistics Show Violence In Steady Decline” October, 22, 2011. Available: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/22/world-less-violent-stats_n_1026723.html Accessed: August 15, 2014.

Hoegen, Monika. “Statistics and the quality of life: Measuring progress – a world beyond GDP.” Edited by Thomas Wollnik. Available: http://www.oecd.org/site/progresskorea/globalproject/44227733.pdf Accessed: August 15, 2014.

Tabarrok, Alex. “Long Term Trends in Homicide Rates” June 1, 2011.Available: http://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2011/06/long-term-trend-in-homicide-rates.html#sthash.JQAecZHp.dpufhttp://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2011/06/long-term-trend-in-homicide-rates.html Accessed: August 15, 2014. 

0

You Know Who You Are by Christina Knowles

grumpy catPeople often mention their pet peeves. I really didn’t think I had very many until I started to think about it. I mean, I’m pretty easy to get along with, and I don’t usually get upset about little things. I do have a touch of OCD about a few things, and I’m kind of particular about how I like things done, but I don’t believe I really put that burden on the people around me—at least I try not to. I don’t expect the same things that bother me to bother other people. With that said, there are some things I consider to be more than slight irritants, and I apologize in advance if I sound rude or snippy, but once I started listing them, I started to feel a little annoyed. But what did you expect? Pet peeves do that to people. Here they are:

1. Napkins stuffed inside glasses. I’ve known a lot of people who do this. I find it utterly repulsive, mainly because I can’t help imagining the person who has to pull it out.

2. Leaving used tissues anywhere but the trash. Even my own used tissues disgust me. It makes me want to sterilize whatever surface they’ve touched.

3. Students who stick their gum under their desks or stuff trash into my cabinets. Seriously? There is a trashcan less than 15 feet from any desk in the room. Do teenagers shove their trash in their cupboards at home? Or is this some type of protest behavior, and I’m missing the point?

4. Vandalism other than protest graffiti. If you aren’t Banksy, you have no reason to deface any property that is not your own. Vandalism is truly the most senseless crime, and you probably aren’t as talented as Banksy anyway.

5. Giant flagpoles in the middle of the front yards of residential homes. Your house is not the White House, and you are not the president. Buy a regular size flag and mount it on your porch like a normal person.

6. Closet and cupboard doors left open. This is definitely an OCD thing, but come on, how hard is it to shut the cupboard after you take out the cereal? Someone could bump their head or be driven insane until they are forced to get up in the middle of dinner to shut it and then have to explain that they have OCD.

7. People not flushing toilets. You aren’t saving the planet because someone will have to flush it before they use it anyway, so it is still getting flushed the same number of times. Stay until you see it go down. Repeat if necessary. Thanks.

8. People who have road rage. You are either way too stressed out before you ever get into the car, or you are leaving way too late for a job that you fear you are about to lose. Set your alarm for half an hour earlier, put on some classical music, and get a more laid-back job.

9. People whose only posts on Facebook are cryptic remarks that don’t say what they really mean, or who post suicidal song lyrics without saying they are quoting song lyrics. Want attention much? If you don’t want me knocking on your door in the middle of the night to see if I need to call an ambulance, please use quotation marks and credit the author. Even then, you may want to mention that you are not thinking of taking your life. I don’t need that kind of stress.

10. Speaking of Facebook, people who post ridiculous stories or claims from satirical sites because they think they are actually real, then get upset at you for posting a Snopes link on their wall. And while I’m on the subject, people who post false and mean-spirited memes that dehumanize or demoralize a person just because they disagree with his politics. Attack the issue, not the person, and by the way, the more preposterous the libel, the crazier they seem.

11. People who expound on issues as some kind of intellectual authority, but do so in run-on sentences, littered with homophones and with no commas, way too many commas, or no punctuation whatsoever. If you cannot write using accepted conventions of your native tongue, I’m not likely to consider you an expert on anything intellectual. Disclaimer: I don’t judge every post this harshly. Sometimes a person is quickly posting something funny or replying briefly in a casual conversation, but if you are attempting to persuade someone of something with your wealth of knowledge, please demonstrate a wealth of knowledge.

It sounds much worse than it is. I rarely am bothered by any of these, which is why it took me some time to think of them. What it did for me, though, was make me realize that sitting around thinking of what annoys me, annoys me. It is not really a good idea . . . unless it causes a certain someone to stop leaving the cupboard doors open. You know who you are. —Christina Knowles

2

Be Careful; Your Character Is Showing by Christina Knowles

CharacterDo all animals deserve to be treated with respect and compassion? How you answer this question will say a lot about your character. This topic has been boiling just under the surface of my mind for some time now. When I hear someone say something, which, in my opinion, is cruel about animals, I automatically think less of them as a person. This has been on my mind lately because I have recently been exposed to many shocking comments regarding animals from people I never would have suspected would think such things or consider them appropriate to say.

Here are some examples of the shocking things I’ve heard come from the mouths of seemingly ordinary people:

  • Regarding an elephant chained to a stake in the ground for its entire life: “Who cares? It’s just an animal, not like it’s a person or anything.”
  • Regarding a dog that faithfully stayed put when the “owner’s” fence blew down: “I was hoping it’d run away.”
  • Regarding two pet dogs in a family of three children: “I always forget to feed them, but it doesn’t matter because they snatch stuff from the kids.”
  • Regarding two dogs belonging to a family with two small children: “They’re not allowed in the house. I don’t care how hot or cold it is. If they die, they die. I can’t stand to have dogs in the house.”
  • Regarding a conversation on skeet shooting: “I don’t have a clay shooter. I practice shooting on birds ‘cause a moving target is best. No, I don’t eat ‘em. They’re too small and gamey.”
  • Regarding a conversation on testing make-up products on animals. “They should test it on animals before I put it on my face.”Unknown-1
  • Regarding some questionable looking meat: “I give it to the dog, and if it doesn’t make him sick, then I’ll serve it.”
  • Regarding a faithful 14 year-old dog that had been with a family her whole life: “I can’t afford an old dog if it gets sick. It’s not human. I’m not spending that kind of money on a dog. The kids need a dog to play with, so I’m taking this one to the pound and picking up a puppy.”
  • Regarding a conversation about illegal immigration that turned into a pro-choice vs. pro-life conversation: Them: “They’ll march and pay to save a dumb animal, but they don’t care about murdered babies.” Me: “Why can’t we care about unborn humans, children already born, and animals all at the same time?”
  • Regarding a time when I saw a child tormenting a tired old dog with a clothespin in front of his parents. Me: “He doesn’t like that.” Parents: “He’s not hurting him; the dog’s here for him to play with,” as if the dog were an inanimate toy for their child’s cruel pleasure.
  • Regarding a man I know who has land in a rural area: “I need a cat to put in the barn to catch mice. He won’t make it long out here though. I have to replace them every couple of months.”
  • Regarding a dog who was going to die, so his family could move conveniently: “She’s old and we’re moving, so we’re just going to put her down.”
  • Regarding cruelty to cows in 8 by 8 pens 24 hours per day, standing in their own mess and so sick that they have to be hoisted out to slaughter: “I don’t care. It’s just a dumb cow. God put them here for us to eat. Cheeseburgers are good.”
  • Previous neighbor regarding his German Shepherd, who was chained to a tree in the middle of a dirt yard with no shade but the house for a couple of hours a day, his fur rubbed off his neck, and receiving no attention except for a bowl of food and water shoved out to him once a day: “If I don’t chain him up, he jumps the fence, and the neighbors will complain.” I complained, but apparently he was receiving “adequate care” according to authorities.
  • Regarding a supposedly beloved pet (I’ve heard this one more times than I can count): “Our new house doesn’t allow pets, so we need to find them a new home.” What if they don’t allow children? Are you going to give them away?
  • Regarding moving across the state: “We’re moving and a dog and a cat are too much trouble to move with.”
  • Regarding a former coworker who was never home: “I don’t have time to spend with him, so we’re putting him down.”
  • Regarding animal testing: “What’s the difference? It’s only a mouse.”
  • Regarding animal testing: “Animals don’t have souls, and they aren’t as smart as people. That’s what they’re for. God put them here for our use and gave us dominion over them.”
  • Regarding a vicious and cruel child: “Better that he take his anger out on the dog than on his brother.” Really? How about counseling as an option? 360982957641_1
  • Regarding grieving over a beloved pet: “Get over it. It was just a dog. You can get another one.” No one had better ever say that to me.
  • Regarding a heartbroken girl who had to sell her old horse: “We had to sell my horse because he can’t jump anymore. I barrel race, and we can’t afford to keep him if he can’t race.”
  • Regarding a discussion of particularly cruel tests on animals for the safety of household cleaners: “Animal rights activists care more about animals than they do people.” Gee, I wonder why?

Unknown-2Hearing these same type of remarks over and over from people who claim to be caring, compassionate, and moral people caused me to wonder why we, as humans in general, think we are so much more valuable than animals because that’s what all these statements have in common. We see animals as objects existing for the use of people. Why else would people who supposedly try and teach their children right from wrong not feel the need to instill in their children respect and compassion for animals?

I could write this entire blog about the importance to humans of being kind and respectful to animals. For example, children who are allowed to treat animals with disrespect and cruelty often move on to bully others and become abusive adults. Treating an animal with kindness and respect teaches empathy, responsibility, humility, and compassion. Prisons have experienced very high rehabilitation success with animal programs for violent inmates. Torturing animals is a pre-cursor to violent crimes and is even known to be a profiling marker for serial killers. People who value animals tend to value human life more, are kinder, more humanitarian, and volunteer to help humans more. People who stand up against animal cruelty, also tend to stand up against mistreatment of humans. We all know this, yet we still think this abhorrent behavior is socially acceptable and even brag about it. Why?

It strikes me as quite arrogant to think we have more value than another living being. I know it is natural for most of us to prefer our own species in matters of life and death–we will choose our own child to save over the family dog, but I’m not talking about choosing animals over people in life-threatening situations. I’m talking about assuming, in general, that we are so superior to them that we have the right to do with them whatever we choose, regardless of their pain, loss of dignity, disregarding their inherent rights as living beings. I believe many people do not even believe they have rights; some do not see them as having feelings or thoughts, or they consider animals as undeserving because of their brain capacity or lack of their ability to use tools. Pets are seen as possessions to be owned, and therefore, can be disposed of whenever convenient.  Why do otherwise moral people think this is okay?Unknown

After considering these attitudes, I have narrowed it down to three different possible reasons why they may feel this way about animals:

  1. Many people think humans have a soul and animals do not–this somehow makes the animal into an object to them, rather than a living being with a right to happiness, a normal environment specific to their needs, and respect as a fellow inhabitant of the earth.
  2. Some people believe that it is an evolutionary trait that we prefer our species and denigrate “lower” species as means of survival.
  3. Many people think that human intelligence is so much higher than that of most animals, and this, in their minds, is a reason to care more for people than animals. Hence, “It’s just a dumb cow,” as if the intelligence level of an animal means they hurt any less from torture. This thought process also tends to include the idea of them deserving to wield power over a weaker species. We are smarter and more powerful, so we can do what we choose to them.

Let me address these attitudes one by one. Cultures who believe animals have souls, tend to respect them more, even if they use them for food. They may follow rituals to show respect for the animal’s sacrifice, such as some Native American tribes. But what if they don’t have a soul? Does it matter? Do they feel pain any less? Do they not deserve to a have a happy, peaceful life, or whatever life is natural to them while they are here? How do we know anyone has a soul or that they don’t anyway? Regardless, it should not matter whether they have a soul or not. I am not a vegetarian, but I do believe in only purchasing small locally-farmed free-range meat and cage-free eggs from reputable organic farms because the animals live a normal farm animal life before they are slaughtered. They are not caged, they graze, roam, enjoy the sunshine, are not shot full of drugs, or abused in any way. If I am going to eat meat, I want to know that no animal was treated with disrespect or cruelty just to provide me with a meal, whether it has a soul or not.

Evolutionary preference: This one is a no-brainer, no pun intended. People have all sorts of instincts that we must daily overcome to be more humanitarian. We are not locked into a behavior when we consciously can overcome it. Supposedly, that’s what evolution has done for us–given us the brain power to think. Let’s use it for kindness.

We are more intelligent than “lower” species. This one is, perhaps, the vilest excuse of all. I mean, do we seriously think it is excusable to be cruel based on intelligence levels? How would this theory transfer if we said it was okay to torture or use for experimentation people with Down Syndrome? It’s an abhorrent thought. Of course, it is not okay. This is exactly the mentality of people who allow their children to kick the dog, tease him, and withhold food. It should be no surprise when the child learns his lesson very well, and at school, sees it as perfectly acceptable to bully the weak and defenseless because he sees them as a lower species, and that he believes he is morally justified in assuming that power or intelligence makes one superior. Do we really believe that? Is someone less valuable because they have less physical or mental power? I don’t personally believe they are.

I choose to believe that all living creatures are born deserving respect, compassion, and kindness to the extent that we are able to show it. If a tiger was attacking me, I would appreciate someone shooting it with a tranquilizer dart, or even a gun if that was all that was available. However, I would not capture the tiger, put it in a cage, chain it up, or experiment on it.

As for pets–I hate the term–I believe we should not adopt an animal unless we intend to bring it in as a member of the family. Dogs and cats, horses, or any other family animal, should be cared for with dignity and kindness. They should be allowed to roam freely without chains or cages. They should have healthy, enticing meals, fresh water, regular exercise, a warm bed, and a place to cool off. They should not be forced to be a toy for a child. They should have some decision-making power over their own lives. If they want to go to another room and be left alone, respect that. They deserve preventative medical care and medical treatment when they are sick. They have rights as living beings with feelings, emotions, desires, and personalities, and if you don’t think they have these things, then you have never properly observed them. And most of all, they deserve to have the stability of growing old without fear of abandonment. They deserve to live out their days being pampered and loved after a lifetime of devotion to their family. We don’t, or at least we shouldn’t, throw out our elderly into the street and exchange them for the young. I can’t imagine anything more cruel than an animal faithfully loving his family, just to be thrown away as if they never valued him at all. Horses, cats, and dogs will willingly give their lives for families, and it is beyond cruel to be cast out like a worn out shoe by the only family they have ever known. There is no excuse for it. Think about what we are teaching children when we do this. Do not be surprised when they do not value you in your old age either.

RescueMe001_smThere may be circumstances that require someone to re-home their animal friend, such as a death in the family or physical illness where the human cannot provide a healthy atmosphere for the animal. In these cases, all other options should be exhausted and obstacles should be overcome if possible to avoid the trauma to the animal. In these cases the animal should be re-homed carefully through an interview process that determines the ability of the new family to provide a loving home and for the needs of the animal. Under no circumstances should a healthy animal be put down or taken to a kill shelter because his family can no longer provide for him. There are lots of organizations willing to help.

Mulder Pitman Knowles
Mulder Pitman Knowles

If you are unwilling or not ready to make this type of commitment to an animal, please, don’t get one. When and if you decide to adopt, please rescue an animal from a shelter or take one from a friend, but do not patronize pet stores or puppy mills. I have not even touched on the horrors of puppy mills or the dog fighting or racing industries, but hopefully, people are aware of how wrong this is. Consider adopting an older dog. Contrary to the old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” old dogs are actually quite easy to train, much easier than a puppy. They are so grateful for a loving home and people whom they can love while living out their days that they are usually quite amenable to how things are done in their new home. And, in my opinion, there is no more noble a creature than an old dog.

You may be wondering where I stand on insects and rodents since I say I believe all living creature deserve kindness and respect. My belief applies to them much in the same way as it does to wild animals. I will not purposely and needlessly harm them if they are not bothering me. If I need to protect my home and family from their disease-carrying presence, I will do so in the most humane way possible. I would not allow my child to torture a bug anymore than I would allow her to torture any other living creature.

I’m sure there will be some who read this who still refuse to look at animals as anything other than a lower species to be handled any way we see fit, but keep this in mind, by and large, people who treat animals with compassion and respect, treat people with compassion and respect. If we want a better world for people, we need to be concerned with the treatment of all living creatures. Also, realize that when you make these heartless statements about animals to animal lovers, you have significantly diminished in our esteem, and your character is now in question because how we treat and think about animals says volumes about what kind of people we really are.–Christina KnowlesCharacter

All images courtesy of Google Images, except Mulder Pitman Knowles. Mulder was my beloved dog from 1993-2008 when she passed away after a long and beautiful life, but not long enough. A dog never lives long enough.  She was rescued from a kill shelter and became my best friend. I was proud to stay by her side, caring for her in her old age.

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Sick of Happiness Yet? by Christina Knowles

Snagged from peanutbutterbananana.files.wordpress.com
Snagged from peanutbutterbananana.files.wordpress.com

 

I am. About four months ago, I jumped on the 100 Happy Days bandwagon. I thought I would get something positive out of it because the last couple of Novembers, I really enjoyed the Thankfulness Challenge, wherein I posted what I was thankful for every day of the month of November. It was a poignant and affirming experience, and I even wrote a blog about it, Being Thankful Is Pure Joy.  So when I read about this one, I was really on board with it. The idea, I assume, is that if we take time each day to notice something that gives us joy for 100 days in a row, we will get in the habit of noticing the positive things in our lives and be happier in general. Sounds like a good idea, right?  Well, this may have worked for some people, but for me it was a total disaster. The challenge actually made me significantly less happy. The happiest moment of it was when it was over. Let me explain.

I’ve always snapped a lot of pictures. I love to scrapbook, and I really enjoy going through picture albums, remembering all the beautiful times I’ve had with family, friends, and especially, my husband. I keep play bills and movie ticket stubs from our dates to put in my scrapbooks. So as technology advanced, it was convenient to start using my iPhone as my primary camera. I started uploading pictures to Facebook and Instagram and making albums online. I enjoyed sharing my life with others, and I enjoyed seeing my friends and family’s posts as well.  It all started out rather innocuously, but lately it’s gotten to be a problem.  I never really noticed how obsessed with social media I was until this 100 Happy Days nonsense took over my life.

At first it was all right. I hardly had to think to come up with some cheerful thing to post. Sometimes it was quite a task to get a picture of it, especially if it was something abstract, and since I was posting to Instagram, I needed photographic evidence of my happiness. Photographic evidence–that should’ve been my first clue that it was more about who was seeing it than about me appreciating it. It didn’t take long to realize that I had begun doing things just to get a picture that would look happy.  I didn’t set out to stage happiness, but it started to become just that.

At first, I just didn’t want to repost the same old thing every day and bore everyone, even if the same thing made me happy. Sometimes the day was nearly over, and I still had nothing to post, so I would just post anything, whether it made me happy or not.  I would tell my husband, “I still don’t know what made me happy today, and I need a happy post.” He must have thought I was crazy. Most people would probably just skip the day if it was that difficult to come up with something, but I am OCD about stuff like this. If I commit to a challenge, I WILL finish it. But somewhere along the line, it became more about what people would see on Instagram and Facebook and less about what really brought me joy that day.

Don’t get me wrong. Most of my postings were genuine, enjoyable experiences that I wanted to share, but a couple of days, I really was not even happy, at all, about anything. I didn’t even want to be happy. I was depressed, and I didn’t want to pretend to be happy, but I did. And I regret it because I am not the type of person who only portrays my life as being perfect. I don’t just post positive things or try to make my life seem better than it is. I try to be real. I post way too much, but at least it had always been authentic up to this point. I was becoming fake as a result of what I perceived this challenge to be. But then it had an even more detrimental effect on me. I became obsessed with capturing these experiences to the point that I didn’t care so much about experiencing the moments any longer; I just wanted to document the fact that I did something, something totally for the benefit of people who probably couldn’t care less because they were busy having their own experiences and probably documenting them as well.

One example that comes to mind is regarding yet a different challenge in which I am involved, a challenge to be active this summer. This has been, for the most part, very beneficial for me. I committed to doing at least 30 minutes of exercise every day, but of course, I have to post it. Well, I am not all that adventurous or athletic (understatement), so I get tired of posting that I used an exercise machine or practiced yoga every single day. I wondered how I could possibly get a better picture of this mundane activity that would be more interesting or more inspiring.  So this week my friend invited me to water Zumba at her gym. I straightaway said yes because I would be able to post something active that looked enjoyable and different! I actually got more enthusiastic over the fact that I wouldn’t have to post yet another workout machine picture that day, than I did over the idea of spending time doing something fun with a good friend whose company I always enjoy. I knew at this point that I had passed from eccentricity to obsession.

However, the aspect that disturbed me even more about my posting mania was that I have begun disregarding my in-person relationships. (I refuse to call them “real” relationships because I actually know, like, and interact with almost my entire friend list in real life, and the few I have not met in person, I actually do care about and intend to meet some day.) The fact of the matter is that I am too often engrossed, nose down in my phone or tablet, oblivious to the people around me whom I love with all my heart. And to add insult to injury, I have begun making my activities with them about my next post.

My husband and I used to take short breaks from what we were doing to check email, surf the net, read the news, or check in on our friends online, and then come back together and really be together.  But a couple of five minute breaks interrupting our time extended to several minutes throughout the evening once I got an iPad, and then my use became almost constant. I was consumed with it. Now I miss what is going on in movies and am only half in conversations. My husband pointed it out once in a while, but I didn’t realize how perpetual it had become until he started engaging in the same behavior. Suddenly, he was on his phone reading during a movie or while I was talking. Recently, he said he wanted an iPad for his birthday, and I thought, Oh no, he’s going to be just like me, and we’ll never talk again. It was then that I realized that I have to break the habit of constantly reporting to and checking on social media. No more challenges; I’m going to do things because I want to do them. When I am with someone, I will not be staring at my phone or iPad, I will be with them, making eye contact, listening fully. I will still take photographs, but I won’t post them until I’m alone, and we are done with whatever we were doing.

Why not stop altogether?  Because social media has actually improved some of my relationships. Because of Facebook, I am friends with people at work whom I didn’t even know before except by name. It put more than a face to a name for me. I know if they have kids, what their hobbies are, what they think about, how they live, even some of their beliefs. We chat with each other, something we don’t have time to do at work. I actually know who they are in a way that I would never have time to discover in the busyness of the workday. The same is true for people at church. I know people at church better from Facebook than from the few minutes we’ve spoken when we pass each other before and after a service. The comfort level for making friends is higher online than in person, especially for shy or introverted people.  We can see what interests them and what we have in common, and strike up a conversation based on that easier than simply introducing ourselves and making meaningless small talk. I have even become “in-person” friends as a result of getting to know people better on Facebook.

I also have met people in other states and countries with whom I share a great deal in common, and I feel like we have truly become friends, no less than if I saw them at work every day. And I have reconnected and kept up with old friends whom I rarely see or that have moved away.  I am interested in their daily posts and pictures, but only if they are showing their real selves, rather than an artificial representation of what they think would entertain us.

Check out this particularly apropos video:  “What’s on Your Mind?

For me the solution is not to give up social media altogether or to go on a technology fast for a couple of weeks, but to put limits on when I use it.  I intend to keep posting what’s going on in my life, what makes me happy, what has me down, but only what’s genuine, and only when I want to. I will not be forced into it by a happiness challenge or any other kind of challenge.  I don’t mean to disparage any of theses challenges for people who enjoy them and get some positive effect from them. If it really makes you happy, go for it.  For me, it changed my sincere sharing to meaningless tasks and took me away from being present with people and activities that used to truly make me happy.  So starting today, I will only peruse social media when I am not with a real person. I will not ignore the people I am with in favor of staring at a device any longer. So here’s my happiness challenge: Do what actually makes you happy and share it if you want to–I’d like to see it, but be fully in the experience of what you are doing and with whom you are spending time. Use social media to enhance your relationships and to reach out to those with whom you cannot be physically present; use it when you are alone and don’t want to be, but don’t use it to be alone when you are not.–Christina Knowles3021307-inline-fb-thumbsup-printpackaging

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The Accessibility of Art by Christina Knowles

IMG_1599Recently I received the 2014-15 Theatre Season and 2014-15 Concert Season brochures in the mail. I get these every year, and every year I am stirred with excitement for the upcoming performances–right before I look at the prices and realize I will be lucky to perhaps see one or two of them. Still, I drool over them and imagine how uplifting their presentations will be, and I try to narrow it down to the one or two shows that I cannot possibly miss.

You see, I have a passion for high culture art on a middle class budget. By the way, high culture is not my term. I find the term very uppity, only because it connotes that it is the culture of the upper classes, but really it is simply elevated art because of its quality. Anyway, I adore the ballet, and I’m not talking about The Nutcracker. I want to see the New York City Ballet perform Balanchine, Twyla Tharp, and Christopher Wheeldon. I want to attend the symphony and the Philharmonic. The cello, violin, viola, and double bass all take me to a place that transcends the mundanity of my ordinary life. However, listening to Itzhak Perlman or Yo Yo Ma in person is little more than a fantasy. Then, of course, there is drama. I love it all–Shakespeare in the Theatre-in-the-Round, a Sondheim musical, or perhaps Gershwin or Bernstein, Post-Modern Drama, or even Interactive Drama. How about the opera? I’ve never been to a live performance, but I think I would love it because I am entranced by the voices of Luciano Pavarotti and Placido Domingo. IMG_1600

Unfortunately, living in Colorado Springs offers little opportunity to experience high culture; however, living on a teacher’s income offers even less. It made me wonder how many of my students would ever get a chance to be exposed to this culture. How would they ever even know if they liked it or not? Most cities adequately present opportunities to visit art museums at a reasonable, and at times, no expense. Children are taken by bus to see famous art exhibits and are, hopefully, taught its significance and how to appreciate it (Many students need no such lesson; for them the art speaks for itself). In Colorado Springs, the symphony also makes this effort, periodically offering free concerts to the public. But by and large,  the lower to middle classes do not have affordable access to premiere orchestra and symphonies, quality theatre and ballet, or the opera.

Of course, it is a matter of necessity that it is costly. Performers deserve to be paid. Often they must be flown in and put up in a hotel. Lighting and stage crews, sets, and a host of other expenses must be met in addition to the venue. Foundations have been helpful in bringing the arts to the general public, but opportunities are still very limited.

However, without previous exposure to this culture, these opportunities are often ignored. Because of the contrast of high art to pop culture, the comfort level and appreciation is not there among those who do not patronize the symphony, the opera, the ballet. Sometimes it can be an acquired taste. The average person is conditioned to enjoy the simple and reject the complicated. I believe exposing children to high art early is the key to its appreciation. Because high art is complicated, it is good for the mind. You’ve probably heard that listening to classical music makes one smarter.

In college I was taught that all children should be exposed to art, classical music, theatre, and ballet. My professors quoted studies that show children who are exposed to high culture get higher grades, have more social skills, and aspire to go to college more than students who never experience this culture. I was just talking to a friend, recently, who was trying to get a grant to take her students to an opera. What an amazing chance for them! Yet, I wonder how many of them will have to be dragged, kicking and screaming.

IMG_1601Even without research data, it seems obvious to me that children who are exposed to fine art, the symphony, the opera, and the ballet would be more comfortable as adults in the social situations they might encounter. They would be more culturally knowledgeable, which would give them more social currency. Social currency is helpful in business networking, interviewing, and in successful career movement. Beyond that though, it seems to me that the arts provide so much more than social value and mobility. The arts, specifically that known as high culture, provide humanity with beauty in a world often devoid of it. As the old saying goes, “Science is the how of life, but art is the why.”

Professor John McKean agrees that the time to expose people to high culture is when they are children, and these children have a right to the arts, which he calls “civilisation.” Referring to Liz Forgan, former managing director of the BBC, McKean states, “Amid the unending and unedifying turge of recent days, how wonderful to see Liz Forgan’s spirited attack on the dumbing down of musical culture among young children . . .Throwing them alive into a boiling vat of great painting, architecture and sculpture would be an added bonus. . .Forgan’s ‘Above all, don’t apologise’ is the key to the unwritten children’s right: the right of access to civilisation. (The BBC’s Culture Show is one among many examples that in our culture today, adults seem beyond conversion.) If Forgan had been forced to start with clapping games, she says, she might have turned to crime . . . Young children are never scared by great culture – it is only inaccessible to adults” (Professor John McKean, Brighton). According to McKean, children are ready for high culture, but by the time they are adults, they are intimidated by it. I believe they are uncomfortable with it merely because they have had no experience with it, and the common man has begun to see high culture as “high class” or even worse, as “upper class.”IMG_1602IMG_1603

Public broadcasting networks like the BBC, PBS, and NPR are the frontrunners in the accessibility of high culture to the general public. Indeed, without them I would not have discovered a love for ballet, opera, and the arts in general. It was on PBS (one of the few channels my family could receive with our rabbit ears) that I discovered Mikhail Baryshnikov, Balanchine, Pavarotti, and so many others on Great Performances. Where else would I have gotten this education in the 1970s, growing up in a lower income home? My public school offered no such opportunity. My parents never showed an interest in the arts, and even if they had, we would not have been able to afford to attend a performance. My older sister exposed me to classical music. She very nearly pursued a career in the symphony before she decided on a career as a chemist. I’m not sure where she discovered classical music. This is one reason why I believe in supporting public broadcasting. I would like to see more programs to bring high culture arts to children, but not only to children. The average citizen has a “right” to civilization as well, and not all adults are scared by it. I’m not. Maybe someday there will be a program to garner interest in high culture among middle class adults. I’ll be the first to sign up. Until then I will attend as many free concerts and art shows as I can, scrounge together enough money for a premiere performance or two, and tune my television to PBS.–Christina KnowlesIMG_1604

 

Sources: McKean, John. The Guardian. Available online: http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2009/may/16/letters-high-culture-young-children Accessed: June 26, 2014

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